Those who know me know I am an animal lover. I have dogs and cats and even a horse. My horse is not just a tool to compete (and we used to do that…a lot) but he’s family. If you’ve had pets, then you know what I mean. One year ago my horse was seriously injured in a competition and we’ve been sidelined pretty much since then - slowly bringing him back into health and strength by working with him daily…first on the ground and then riding him lightly again. He’s been doing amazingly well and rehabbed like a champ. He has the best care and the best team of people watching over his progress.

He was doing so well…until last week.

My horse is injured again - and this time, it’s unclear exactly what’s wrong. But I am desperately worried. Not because we won’t jump again (I knew that was unlikely given last year’s injury) but because he is anxious, uncomfortable, and needy. He’s in pain and I can’t seem to help him (although he’s still eating and pushing me around for carrots). So his vet will be with him most of tomorrow afternoon to see if she can determine the cause of his pain and anxiety. If it’s a serious injury, I will likely retire him permanently.

This is sad for oh so many reasons but mostly because I know that retiring him - and sending him away from me (see, you can’t exactly retire a horse to a farm in Massachusetts because the winters are too hard on them to be outside year round), will confuse him and upset him deeply. I don’t even want to get into what it will do to me. This will sound odd to those who have never experienced it, but I am very connected to my horse (and all my animals really).

So I need some good luck that all will be OK tomorrow - or that whatever it is, isn’t too serious. My gut says it’s bad. But I would desperately love to be wrong.

I have lost a lot lately….and this would simply crush me.

But, I have to believe there’s a reason behind all this. It just hurts like hell trying to figure out what that might be.

The picture is of my horse in July of 2005 at a horseshow…our last show was June of 2006 where he was hurt.

EDITED TO ADD NEWS: The vet was worried about a fracture in his ankle, which would have certainly meant at least surgery and potentially having to be put down…as it turns out, it’s not a fracture. It’s still a complicated injury, which may in fact mean retirement. But considering the alternative, I am grateful.

Thanks for listening